The Township Auditorium Resumes Her Reign

The Grand Dame of Entertainment is back! And in the grandest fashion ever.

The historic Township Auditorium opened Thursday, June 11 after months and million were spent on her renovations. The celebratory events began on Thursday and continued all weekend and I took advantage of them all… all the free ones, that is.

Tony Bennett was the first act to play in the newly renovated theatre. I’m told the world-renown crooner stood before a completely sold out crowed. What a way to begin her new era. I congratulate the Township and her staff for making a huge statement in her reopening night. She has really set a high standard to follow.

On Friday night, I managed to attend the Foundation Gala, even though tickets were $100. (How did I manage that on a non-pay day week and without a formal invitation? Let’s just say I don’t think the Salahi’s are as bad as people make them out to be.)

Anywho… When I walked into the auditorium, the Grand Dame stole me breath and won my heart. Absolutely exquisite. I walked around, mixing and mingling with Columbia city and county council members, pastoral first ladies and future mayoral first lady, radio and television personalities, and other people who looked, smelled and talked like they belonged. During my brief excursions away from the crowd, I saw all of her the wonderful additions. For starters, I noticed the new foyer that you enter before you get to the lobby, the new elevator, the completely made over and additional restrooms, the second floor balcony that overlooks the first floor, and the glass wall with a view of Taylor and Henderson streets. As awed as I was by the new features, it was easy to notice and appreciate the old features that were painstakingly maintained. For example, I could tell that the banisters were original, as was the newly varnished crackled concrete flooring on the second level. Robby Butt, a spokesperson for the theatre, also pointed out that the railing that was outside in front of the theatre was also incorporated into the second floor scenery. Ingenious!

The Foundation Gala event was a mixture of delicious food, good drink, esteemed company and a stroll down memory lane. And they had the right person to usher the stroll; Joe Pinner. It would sound like a cruel joke to mention that at 75 years old, Pinner is only five years younger than Her Majesty herself. But Pinner beat me to the punch when he boasted the fact.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the unmatched set-up, service and catering that was carried out by Ovations. While the dinner salad, fresh vegetables and filet were delish, the Neapolitan whipped desert was absolutely divine. So much in fact, that I asked the server for a second serving, even at the finger-waving admonishment of the First Lady Willa Mae Jackson of Bibleway Church of Atlas Road. Since I curbed my indulgence of the bottle of red wine that sat on our table out of respect for her, I felt I was owed a second helping of dessert!

Anywho, the evening concluded with dancing and more mixing and mingling, after which I retrieved my souvenir Township Auditorium wine glass and exited stage left. It caused me great pain the level that bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon behind.

On Saturday, the Superstars of Comedy were the second act to walk upon the new stage flooring. While I didn’t make it to this event, (just not my cup of tea), I hope it was a sell-out, like Tony Bennett’s. If so, that would help to calm me fear. Now that The Dame has been elevated to new levels, the ceiling will be raised and she will attract more Tony Bennett-caliber acts. That’s a good thing. But my fear is that along with the ceiling, the floor will also be raised, and many of the acts that kept the venue opened for years will no longer be welcomed. I’ve been assured by ‘people in the know’ that that will not happen. But the more sold-out comedy and ‘chitlin circuit’ shows we have, the better I will feel that the Township will continue to be a venue for all to enjoy.

On Sunday, there was a community open house. If you didn’t want to pay to attend the gala, this was the event for you! Even with the temperature being a miserable 100 degrees, I hoped to see more of the community at the event. Those that opted to stay in not only missed the free hot dogs, drinks, popcorn and art exhibits, they also missed the hip hop/folk/soul sounds of Day Clean, a two-man band that got my attention with their rendition of Grandma’s Hands and their original recording, Can I Talk to You.

My Sunday visit afforded me a more leisurely opportunity to continue my inspection of Her Greatness. Upon further examination, I was able to admire the expanded dressing rooms, the new conference room (that contains the old stage flooring), and the new auditorium seating. Unfortunately, although nice, the seats and walk-ways did not appear larger or more spacious. After millions of dollars spent, the seating comfort of patrons doesn’t appear to have been increased… my only complaint! And a significant one.

So, I said all that to say this: She’s back. The Grand Dame of Entertainment is back. And don’t you dare miss an opportunity to admire her grandeur and sit amongst Her Excellency.

George Wilborn at The Comedy House Theatre

This past weekend, there were a ton of things to do, like the Eau Claire Ribs and Renaissance Festival, SC Body Building Championship and the Utopia Spring Shrimp Boil. In spite of the heat, I hope you got out and took advantage of some of them.

 

The event that I elected to grace was George Wilborn’s show at The Comedy House Theatre. In case you’ve been living under a rock for the last few years (or maybe you just don’t listen to urban radio), George Wilborn is Michael Baisden’s funnyman sidekick. He’s been on the Michael Baisden Show for a couple of years now and I must admit that he gave it some much-needed ‘umph’. I had long grown bored with ‘Pimps in the Pulpit’ by the time George joined the crew.

 

At first The Michael Baisden Show was daring, entertaining and a breath of fresh ghetto air. Then after a couple of months, I quickly recognized that the same old topics and foolery were being recycled over and over again. If you heard the show one week, then you heard it every week.

 

Anywho, enough of my Baisden-bashing. Skip G and Smoke were the opening and feature acts. They did an honest job but George Wilborn definitely didn’t have to worry about being upstaged by either of them.

 

When George came out, I think the audience was pleasantly surprised at how attractive he was. He was nicely dressed in a vibrant yellow button-down shirt that glowed against that pretty black skin. And when he smiled, the combination of the yellow shirt and his sparkling white teeth made me wonder if it was 8 o’clock at night or 8 o’clock in the morning. When George spoke, I heard people around me whisper that he sounds just like he does on the radio. I’m curious… who did they expect him to sound like? Alvin and the Chipmunks?

Wilborn’s comedy routine was actually pretty good. Like all good comedians, he infused some local events into his routine. And unfortunately for us, his local topic was the racially-motivated murder and dragging of a black man in Newberry. He managed to get a laugh or two out of the event, but I was extremely embarrassed that a nationally-known comedian could come to our town and point out how back-woods we seem to be. Pretty disappointing.

 

Anywho, Wilborn was able to keep the laughs rolling with his take on relationships, politics, white people and sex… the typical comedy topics. One of the funnier moments in show came when he mimicked Steve Harvey. You know how Steve Harvey talks with his hands, all 10 fingers spread apart? That’s what George Wilborn did as he pointed out that Steve claims to be a ‘relationship expert’ yet is on marriage number three. Personally, I think some of the best experts are the ones who have failed many times before they found success.

 

Even so, it seems that George has found marital success in just one shot! He pointed out that he’s been married to the same women for 18 years. I guess that more than qualifies him to call into question Steve Harvey’s 90-day rule. Instead of waiting 90 days to have sex with someone like Harvey suggests, Wilborn was a proponent of having sex right away! He said, if you check it out on the first night and like it, then you proceed to the next step…”Now, what’s your last name?” And if you don’t like it, at least you haven’t wasted 90 whole days of your life before you figure it out!

 

Well, that advice must have been the motto of the lady in front of me with the black dress on; she let everyone know that she shared that theory. While the others of us just laughed, her animated head-nodding and loud concurrence showed that she whole-heartedly agreed.

 

At the end of the show, George was extremely gracious and allowed a long line of women to take cell phone pictures with him. As I stood by patiently, hoping to snag a 5-minute interview, guess who came just-a twisting her little self around in front of George? Little Miss Black Dress. Now, I must admit, sistah was cute, but it was clear, she wanted a more intimate interview with George Wilborn. I could barely ask him my questions with all her sideline antics.

 

So, after I had asked my final question and George gave me a cordial hug, he turned to Miss Black Dress and her crew and asked, “So, what are you ladies getting into tonight?”

 

“We’re not sure, yet.” They replied in unison.

 

“Well, whatever it is,” George said, “you have a good time and be careful.” And with that, he turned and walked away.

 

And I died laughing.

 

So, let that be a lesson to groupies: After the show is over, take your ass to the house; ain’t nobody studying you!